I can't say that everything has even come close to getting back to normal yet, but things are settling back in to the old routines with a few new twists. I think of my father just about everyday, and remember him as he really was, both the good and the bad. I don't mean to say that he wasn't a saint, but he was far from a devil by the same token. I'm holding on to the honest memories of my father, in an attempt to come to some inner peace of my own.

In other areas of my life, Lori...

Well, in case you don't quite understand what the title of this entry means, my father passed away on December 16, 2003, just two days after his 75th birthday. He never regained consciousness from whatever caused him to collapse on December 10th. The only bright spot in the entire situation is that it brought all of his children and most of his grandchildren together for the first time if not ever, then certainly in many years. In the near future, I'll probably be constructing a web page on this...

No matter how hard I try to find another job, I keep coming to the conclusion that I've been trapped. It took me two years, two full years, to get the crappy job that I currently have, and I can't even rate a fucking interview at places that should be happy to have me. Despite my lack of a degree, I have a ton of experience. So why can't I even get an interview? Why? Sometimes I feel like there's someone out there actively working to make my life miserable, and I seriously don't believe...

There is much I could say about California's recent election and recall campaign. There is much I could say on the governor elect, and the absurdity of the entire thing. But I'm not. I don't have the energy for it. If you're with me, buy this.

For a few hours this week I thought I might have been about to take another step forward in my career, but from the looks of it now, I guess I wasn't. I suppose I either scared them away or caught someone trying to pull the wool over my eyes....

Yeah, it's an old cliche, but it's still very much appropriate for my situation. Four years ago, I was working at Scantron, dying a little each day. I hated working there, and I felt like the company was deliberately trying to suffocate me. I felt that I had to do something, anything, to get out of there. So I sent my resume to Be. Lo' and behold! Be liked me, and hired me. I was saved. That was the step forward.

I must admit, that from my second or third week at Be on, I was worried...

Tomorrow will mark the end of the second full year since Be notified me and 28 others that we were being laid off. Naturally, it really sucks that I'm one of few ex-Be employees still unemployed. (In fact, I might be the only one.) It really makes me think that I should give up on this California experiment of mine, and go back to Michigan and settle for some dead-end job.

I came to California with a few hopes. Some have been fulfilled, like my desire to find a great woman and get...

Freshly back from the Motor City, and tired as hell.

My trip home was very enjoyable, though it was apparently a lot more tiring than I imagined. Lori and I are still trying to get back on California time, and aren't having a whole lot of luck. For the curious, I have a few pictures from the trip in my photo album under "Michigan 2003".

It's amazing how much things can change in just a few short years. There were times during the trip that I didn't even recognize Detroit,...

Well, this weekend I'll be on my way to Detroit — my hometown — for the first time in nearly two years. I miss the place despite the bad reputation, and the current happenings. I'm really looking forward to being there.

On other subjects, neither of the jobs that I mentioned in the previous entry panned out. One was for a place that I consider a little more respectable than a pyramid get rich quick scheme, and the other claimed the position was cancelled. Figures. But I still...