While I'm not going to go into the specifics, I will tell you all this, the short time we've had in 2006 has been more painful to me than any other year of my life that I can remember. Even more painful than when I lost my father. Lori and I are going our separate ways, and I'm moving back to Michigan. I wish that things weren't the way they're turning out to be, but they are, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I would like to publicly thank Lori for the years of happiness that...

Or at least it seems to be these days. Whatever happened to the days of ensuring your own safety and security, of being held liable for your own decisions? This is going to be another unorganized rant; you have been warned.

I just came across and read this article on CNN's web site. It states that there are people calling upon brokerage firms and other agencies to better educate their customers on security as it relates to their sensitive information, and possibly for them to provide...

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;

He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;

He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;

His truth is marching on.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.



I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps

They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and...

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the stampeding deaths in Baghdad, I'm feeling particularly helpless. I feel helpless in my own life right now because I'm not in control of my financial situation, or of my family life... But with these two disasters, I'm really blown away... If it were within my ability to go to Louisiana to help, right now I'm absolutely sure I would. But my responsibilities to my wife and our family mean that I can't. My heart goes out to you LA., and to the families of all...

I found out this evening that my great uncle (as in my grandfather's brother) died last night. I'll miss him dearly, as will the rest of my family, but I honestly feel like my world is slowly eroding from around me. My father died two days after his 75th birthday. A close family friend of ours, Darnell, died a week or so after my 32nd birthday. Hell, even my sisters beloved cat died after nearly twenty years early in 2004. And now my Uncle Knob.

I know that dying is as much a part...

Yes, it may still be more than an hour until my birthday here in California, but where I was born, the date is already June 22. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm feeling down, like I haven't done a damned thing in my life that's worthwhile. Like I haven't accomplished anything. Frankly I feel like a failure.

But I'm still not done. Not yet. I still have hope. I'm working on rewriting my lottery program yet again, and I'm making better progress...

Why is it that every year around my birthday, I get an impending sense of doom? Why is it that things inevitably start to go wrong for me about this time?

Something needs to give. I need to get a higher paying job so that I can pay off my outstanding debts. I need to get a job that I actually feel like I'm doing what I've been training myself to do. I need something that gives me hope that my wife and I can make it on our own, and that will get us out of her parents' home and on...

I am seriously about to give up on this fucking state. Honestly. Perhaps I should instead give up on my life... After having a good weekend, and visiting Maxx, I get back home; park my car in front of my house; go inside and relax; and listen as my car gets hit. Yes, that's right, my car has been hit in front of my home once again. It wasn't even a year ago yet that my car was damaged in a hit and run accident right in front of the house.

To give you an idea of the beauty of this...

That basically sums it up. Despite the fact that I'm working again, despite the fact that I'm married and live with my in-laws, despite the fact that I have friends locally, I feel like I'm totally alone. There is something missing in my life, and I'm not quite sure what it is. I've lost my companions; those that I knew I could always count on to be right there at the right time without being summoned or asked. Yet, I wouldn't say that my friends and family have failed me in any way, I'm just...